Welcome, all of you, to the Riverdale musical episode, or as I like to call it, a bright light in what’s otherwise been a very confusing season. Not only do we get singing, but this episode also delivers the kind of last-minute twist we want from this show. I should’ve known that the theatrics of a musical would pair perfectly with the theatrics of Riverdale. Anyhow, let’s get into it, shall we?
The hour wastes no time in giving us our first group musical number. After Kevin hands Jughead a camera — never a good idea to give an almost-too-curious person a camera — and asks him to be the official videographer for the school’s production of Carrie: The Musical, we cut to the real drama: Archie doing push-ups…wait for it…WHILE READING. Could Archie’s IQ one day grow to be as impressive as his biceps? THAT is the true mystery of Riverdale, and only time will tell.
The group number then leads us directly into Kevin welcoming everyone — viewers included — to Carrie: The Musical. Running down the cast, he announces Archie as Tommy, the boy next door, and Betty as Sue, the good girl. Veronica is taking on the role of mean girl Chris while Cheryl gets to play the iconic Carrie White, a fact that clearly isn’t sitting well with Josie and Ethel. Then there’s Alice, who has returned to the high school to play the part of Carrie’s mom because, as Kevin puts it, there’s “nothing more inappropriate than age-inappropriate casting.” Finishing out the cast is Chuck Clayton, desperate to redeem his reputation. He’s not a bad guy, he swears!! Watch, he can sing! How can he be a bad guy if he can sing?!
With the cast set, we get into the drama of it all. Betty’s still very mad at Veronica, whom she thinks is just perfect for the part of the “privileged selfish mean girl,” and while she’s busy explaining to Archie why his girlfriend is in the wrong, Cheryl is looking to prove her haters wrong. Are there haters? Maybe. There’s a good chance they’re only in her head and/or it’s just Josie and Ethel, but Cheryl takes the opportunity to stand up and belt out a solo to prove her vocal prowess. Annnnnd then a sandbag drops from the ceiling and nearly kills her. WELCOME TO RIVERDALE’S VERSION OF A FUN MUSICAL!
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