1. Just be yourself
“Just be yourself” takes the cake as being the worst piece of advice you can possibly get. Just think about this for a second. If you are looking to get better with women, i.e. seeking useful tips to improve your dating life, it’s quite obvious that what you are currently doing is not working. By being yourself, and being the same person who has an ineffective dating life, you will not succeed!
People who say, “Just be yourself,” really mean “Just be your best self,” which is actually pretty good advice in theory (disregarding the lack of precise details in how to be your best self, of course), but they leave out the best part. When someone is their best self, they are all they can be and nothing more. They’ve worked at mastering their weaknesses and harnessing their strengths and they’ve overcome whatever challenges they’ve faced in life. This is where and what you want to be: your best self. Not just yourself!
2. Don’t pay for her
Somewhere along the line paying for a woman when a man took her out on a date became shunned upon by the men’s self-help community. Perhaps it was a necessity in the empowerment of man, and something that self-improvement-seeking men, especially in dating, needed to hear. Maybe it gave men a certain belief and entitlement that they never had before; so for that, I can forgive many guys for believing this.
But it’s time to set the record straight. Not paying for a woman you want to take out says one thing to a woman, “This guy is cheap!”
I am not saying that you should lead with your money and get flashy or that you should pay for everything; but I am saying women still feel that men should pay (or at least offer to) when he takes her out on a date. I’ve known guys who were adamant about not paying for a drink or a meal or a ticket, and they were looked at by the women they took out as petty.
It’s one thing if a woman is obviously trying to have you buy everything or get her things; it’s another thing entirely to offer to get the first round of drinks on a first date . Guys who read too much pick-up artist stuff tend to believe this fallacy. A high-quality woman, however, will not put up with this trivial behavior. Do yourself a favor and pay for a woman when you take her out.
On a side note, a good woman is always going to offer to pitch in, get the next tab, pay for something else during the date, or offer to buy the subsequent round of whatever pops up. Keep this in mind when you are deciding who is and who is not “girlfriend material.”
3. Be The Nice Guy And Slip Under Her Radar
Being “The Nice Guy” is not an effective strategy when trying to woo a woman. Now, don’t get me wrong, nice guys can often finish first with women (as my friend Kevin Alexander will tell you) but trying to be too nice, or trying to be someone you’re not, never works! Guys who try to play into the nice-guy role are guys who just don’t have the confidence to be true to who they really are.
The “Just Be Nice and She’ll Like You” crap is one of the worst dating advice for men strategies I can think of! It literally drives me up the wall when I hear this because it’s so wrong!
Nice guys… true nice guys that is, are nice by nature. They don’t have to “try” to be nice, they just are. When you try acting a certain way, you act incongruently with your inner emotions and your true self. Women see right through this façade, and they never see the man favorably.
4. Kiss Her At The End Of The Date
Kissing her at the end of the date is okay, but waiting until the end of the date to kiss her for the first time is not. If you have to wait until the very end of the date to lock lips with your woman, you’ve done something wrong.
Women hate feeling pressured when on a date with a man. They hate pressure and they hate awkwardness. These two feeling kill sexual tension, and kill the special moment. Rather than waiting until the very end to give her that proverbial end-of-the-night kiss, kiss her much earlier on, and take the pressure off the both of you.
It works out far better when you kiss a woman earlier on in the date. Maybe half hour or an hour into the date is best. This way you get it out of the way and you don’t build up weird, awkward feelings between you and her. Rather than being predictable and ineffective, be spontaneous and successful!
5. Take Her To The Movies On The First Date
Man, I hate when people say, “Why don’t you take her to the movies for your date?” It irks me in ways that can only be compared to fingernails scraping against grade-school chalkboards. This has to be the worst date idea ever conceived!
Let’s think about this concept for a moment so I can emphasize the utter folly of this idea.
You meet a woman and ask her out on a date.
You say “Sweet!”
She says “I know.”
You think to yourself:
Hmm where can I take this attractive woman that would give me the best chance of getting to know her, connecting with her, seeing if I like her, and potentially forming a relationship with her?
It has to be someplace where we could talk, get to know each other, have fun, get intimate, and hopefully even get physical. Where but where should I go that meets these pretty standard requirements? Ah, yes, the movies!
Nope! Wrong! This is the last, and I do mean last place to go that meets these very basic qualifications for a good first date.
When you go to the movies you literally have nothing to do but sit quietly and watch the movie. You are positioned away from your girl. You have a stupid cup-holding barricade in between you two. You try desperately and unsuccessfully to come up with funny comments relating to the movie. You basically sit through two hours of torture watching some crappy movie about god-knows-what, and when it finally ends and the lights turn on, you’ve virtually spent two boring and awkward-filled hours with a complete stranger!
She knows nothing about you, finds you less attractive, and wants nothing more than to go home and never see you again.
Yeah, that’s why the movies suck!
And oh yeah, take all of this advice about not going to the movies, and times it by 10 when it comes to dinner dates! Dinner dates are 10x worse than movies. Unless you are older than 50, take her someplace fun like Dave and Buster’s, karaoking, mini-golfing, a fair, a park, dancing, an event, even go kart racing. All of these ideas beat the hell out of doing nothing but watching a movie or watching each other eat!