It’s a week of revelations here in Riverdale — riverlations? — but some bombshells are taken far less seriously than others. Betty and Jughead are dating? Literally nobody cares. Jason Blossom was going to be a father? Oh, ha, weird. A social pariah largely forgotten by the town for months is now on the loose? Sound the alarms and alert the FBI and tell the neighborhood from The Truman Show to search the island!!!
Polly Cooper’s asylum escape and the curiously-timed burning of Jason Blossom’s getaway car have pointed all fingers to her as the prime suspect in both murdering Jason and now covering the tracks. Betty makes the mistake of loudly voicing her concern over Polly in the student lounge, where an impersonal crony of Cheryl Blossom’s overhears it and quickly texts the intel to Cheryl, who inappropriately but hilariously blasts it out on Twitter (although #SharpenYourPitchfork is more Beauty and the Beast content, if anything).
The Blossoms quickly enlist the police to track down Polly as suspect No. 1, forcing Betty to rally her friends and family to find Polly before they do. With dual search parties racing to be the first to find an unhinged pregnant tween in the forest, Mrs. Cooper attempts to gain an advantage: She throws a little Chicago-esque press conference in front of the church to get both God and the general populace of Riverdale on their side. Alice reveals that Polly was pregnant with Jason’s baby, which completely undermines the entire reason they sent her to solitary to begin with, but hey, whatever!
Stunningly, no one seems to care — except the Blossoms. Cheryl approaches Betty with a materteral mea culpa, agreeing to unite with her fellow future aunt and help Polly raise JJ’s baby safely. Cheryl’s got money, and as luck would have it, Betty found Polly hiding out in the Coopers’ doll-packed attic (fun!) and promised to help her wrangle enough money to……….
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