Being alone sucks, yes! It is miserable and it drives you nuts. It makes you unearth all that you have buried within you. It even makes you feel less of yourself sometimes.
But let me tell you a secret: you are not scared to be alone, you are scared that you are not good enough to just be on your own.
Do you know what made scientists break boundaries with their inventions, renowned authors write great books? They did this by being on their own. Some authors even travel to a place to be all alone, so that they can spark up inspiration.
Loneliness only creeps in when we can’t figure out what to do with our lives when we find ourselves alone.
A quote by an unknown author exemplifies this: ‘The hardest walk you can make is alone, but it is the walk that would make you stronger.
Loneliness can push you to make terrible choices like:
• Chatting up an ex to rekindle an old flame, when you know that deep down you are playing with fire. After a whirlwind of fun you fall back to where you started because of the reason you were broken up in the first place.
• Staying in a bad relationship because it is better than staying single, due to the fear that no one would accept you and what you have become.
• Making terrible life choices, rolling with the wrong crowd just to be seen, because you can’t do so on your own. So you need a clique to shine.
• Turning into a keyboard vandal, trolling people online, because you want them to feel your pain. You want to rip into their perfect online lifestyle but you forget they could be struggling, they could have real problems. You forget that life is not perfect and most importantly you forget to mind your business.
• Making up a different persona online and offline just to get people to like you, but in the end you are wrapped so hard around your web of lies that it chokes you.
• Having suicidal thoughts, thinking that the world would be a better place without you in it, because you think you are worthless but you forget that there are people that appreciate you for who you are, appreciate your worth.
• Jumping into a marriage because you are afraid that your time is almost up and you have no achievement, so you decide it is the best option for you, without giving it a lot of thought whether you are ready to spend a lifetime with the person.
When that fear comes in to cripple you, when it comes to you with your sanity, try to ask yourself any of these questions:
o Who am I?
o What have I become?
o What do I hope to achieve?
o Who do I hope to be?
o What do I wish for?
o What can I do positively to improve my current dilemma?
o What am I good at?
o Are the people in my circle toxic or helpful?
o Have I made the most of my life?
o Do I believe that everything will certainly change for the better?
o If I do, how should I work to make it happen?
o What have I read or watched today?
o What do I do productively with my time?
o How can I be a better mom/dad/sibling/child/friend?
o Have I laughed today?
o How often am I happy and how often am I sad?
o When was the last time I let loose at a party?
As yourself any question that can make you understand that life is short, and instead of punishing your brain with horror, put it to work and watch yourself blossom into someone you can’t recognize when you look at the mirror.
I am not afraid to be alone even when the night is dark and full of terrors because, I am not alone. I have great friends, I have a great family and I appreciate what I have rather than bother myself with what I don’t have. I do hope you do the same.
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